I need you to tell me if you know what I'm talking about in the story and explanation I'm about to launch in to. I hope there are those of you out there, similar to me, who have never heard of such a thing. I also hope there are those of you out there, unlike me, who have indeed heard of such a thing and who can then shed some light on it. Because I need some light shed!!
Here goes: I was talking with a friend the other day who is soon to be wed. We were just discussing weddings, her wedding in particular, the music, decor, bridesmaids...you know, all those sorts of things. Anyways, it came up in conversation how she was giving her venue coordinator her list of bridesmaids and that she was going to need to find out from them what height shoes they were wearing, etc because she needed to know their exact heights on the wedding day so that she could then place them in ascending height order (totally thinking that that's how it is done). BUT THEN her venue coordinator responded and said "No, height doesn't matter. Typically, you place them in order of who is the closest friend to you and go from there."
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.
I was appalled and amazed by this revelation - both feelings at the same time! Call me naive, but I had NEVER heard of this!! And I think I know why...it's because, who would want to know that they were placed in ranked order of their value to the bride? Definitely not me. Particularly because I have always been in the back, if not THE LAST person, in the bridal party. Sucks to be me (please note the exaggeration here. I am pleased, honored, and beyond blessed to have served in the weddings I have served in. In no way do I intend to hurt anyone's feelings, and I know not every wedding is done this way).
Weddings already have enough "rankings" to them. Isn't picking a Maid of Honor and Best Man enough? Why then have to diminish everyone again and place them next to you in order of closeness and priority? I mean...DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
For people that do that, and have done that, I'm really wanting to know why? Please give me your take on it because I could be seeing it from a single perspective. I'm both intrigued (and offended) by this, and I'm open to hear what you have to say.
I will say this though, when I get married and have a bridal party of my own, I will not be placing you in ranked order. I promise! If you're at the end of the line, I apologize, but please know this - you're not there because I love you any less than the person standing in front of you. My maid of honor will be next to me to fulfill her MOH duties, and other than that, it's fair game. I am just going to be happy, honored, and delighted to have each and every one of you ladies up there with me!! I will have chosen you for a reason, and those reasons will not be ranked! :)
wam bam, thank you ma'am.
That can be such an awkward situation! I was lucky because I only had 3 bridesmaids (my 2 sisters and my sister-in-law), and there was an obvious order to put them in. But I have been part of a few bridal parties where I could totally tell there was some ranking going on and we just weren't being told... awkward. Seems like height is the easy, drama-free way to go :)
ReplyDeleteGosh, it's all so funny to me! It just makes it awkward to have been in that situation and to know where you stand, unless of course you stand as #1 or #2. Then you're satisfied with your place in life! :)
ReplyDeleteAnnie, I had two maids of honor. I put them first (and I guess in order: one was my lifetime childhood best friend, basically my sister, the other I'd known only since college but was more like the adult-me best friend) after that was by husband's sister, then lined up the remaining four by height. No way I was going to rank them! I had enough to think through to stress over that! Weddings are filled with arbitrary rules. Do what you want to make it a fun celebration and your guests will love it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin, that's totally how I feel. I do clearly see an importance in family members and the honor attendants to be first and foremost, but as for the others, I would just feel terrible to rank them. In all my life, I had never heard of that! It's so weird the things that are developed and revealed when peering into the wedding planning process! haha
ReplyDeleteI have never heard of this! How can you pick which friends you love more? I love all my friends equally in different ways! I did mine by height.
ReplyDeleteI've heard of it done that way...I think the more common way is to do it by height. I had 9 bridesmaids and I ABSOLUTELY did it by height. It was important to me that the bridesmaids were shorter than their matching groomsmen, so we lined up the bridesmaids in scattered height order, then I just assigned them groomsmen. It was done the day before my wedding. I've been in 3 weddings and {with the exception of when I was MOH} I've always been somewhere in the middle {probably b/c I'm 5'11" flat footed}.
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